Power VIII

You know something?

I think I'm too easily influenced.

Not by people. Lol obviously not. I've just been thinking... my emotions sway so easily. Like take today for instance. We went to go see one of my best friend's plays. It was the opening night for their school's performance of 42nd St and it was amazing. The sets were great, the costumes were amazing, and of course the acting was up to it's usual high standards for RBR, but afterwards, I couldn't help but feel a little....

Melancholy.

I felt wistful and weird and not like me at all. I couldn't help thinking, that could have been me. I used to act, and dance, and sing, and do sets, and did crew. I did everything. I loved shows. The stage. Lights. Applause. I lived for it for the longest time.

And then I just dropped it.

I don't even know what triggers these sudden changes in my mood. I was supposed to be happy for Ash for crying out loud!! I was supposed to give her a huge hug and congratulate her and smile. But I couldn't stop thinking about how much I missed the stage.

I don't even know at this point.

Sigh. Now I'm just tired. I hate talking about my feelings. But I need to get a new journal to write shtuff in so ima just vent here for today. >_<

Gnite~

Reading VI and Power VIII and Anime V

Sigh. I'm having trouble reading from the screen right now and my eyes hurt. ( >_< ) Sorry guys.

Anyways, today I learned how much power the temperature of a room has over me. So we went skiing (I went snowboarding) today and it was fun and all, but since we won't be skiing tomorrow (it's gonna rain) and we were planning to sleep at a hotel tonight anyway, my parents decided to splurge a tiny bit. :)

So this hotel (who's name I never cared to learn) looks a lot little sketchy from the outside, and gives you the feeling that it's really old and drafty, but the inside is really nice and there are cute rustic details everywhere. But that's not what makes this place so awesome.

That would be the basement.

We were down there till a little while ago and let me tell you, it was like heaven. There was this big pool that was really cold compared to the air (it was actually 70ºF in the water but whatever) and then the big cold pool had this awesome slide thing, and then in the room area next to it was this awesome hot tub with this stream of steaming hot water coming from the wall out of this sun shaped plaque and there was, like, fake foliage hanging from the ceiling and wall giving it this kind of garden of eden feeling. Like this (look down) without the random pavement. And add the pool. That's important.

OH and then I forgot the awesome stuff. So there was the hot tub and pool and slide thing, and then there were TWO SAUNAS!!! It was awesome. ( >*o*)> 'Twas amazing.

So we had fun in the basement (Milan went in the hot tub and then we dared him to use the slide and it was hilarious), but then we came back upstairs and took showers and I've been chilling in this warm and cozy room for a while and it's making me thing really slow and type slow and be slow and LAZY. I mean, I'm always lazy, but I mean lazier than usual. That's what I meant. It's crazy right? Sigh. But I'm too lazy to fix the heater so oh well. It's not like it's uncomfortable. It's making me a little drowsy is all.

And now I'm very easily sidetracked. For example I was just surfing the web, 'cause that's just what I do you know, and found this. CLICK THIS LINK IT'S AWESOME!!! I mean, it made me want to scream PREACH SISTA or something. The original this was in Portuguese so you might have to translate it (that is, if it doesn't translate automatically), but if more people could understand some of these basic term than I would be able to have an easier time conversing with them on a regular basis. They would also have an easier time trying to understand me, but sometimes I guess it's best not to understand me. Oh well.

Well, I'm tired and will watch anime for a bit before passing out, laptop on stomach. Gnite!!

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ   oyasumi ~

Power VII

Alrighty. So I was talking with my friend (yes I have those so shaddup) and we have come to the conclusion (well mostly me. Actually maybe it was all him. IDEK) that the media is brainwashing me us. 

I swear to any higher entity you want that it's so true.

So, I was just watching my anime and looking at KPop vids and finding adorable anime scenes and listenning to JPop and not being the perfect asian stereotype in the slightest, when I saw this one gif and it made me think. Well actually that's a lie. I am always thinking. I was just more aware of what I was thinking at that time. My thoughts sorta kinda went like this (I don't actually think in words. I think in feelings and colors and shapes. But I will attempt a MAYA THOUGHT to MAYA ENGLISH translation.)

*sees cuddle*

Aw that's cute.

*sees kiss*

o////o KYAAAAA ^_^

*sees huggle*

I feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

*pause*

Kinda wish I had that...

*slightly longer pause*

I really wish I had that...

*wait... for... it...*

SHOOT MAYA WHAT ARE YOU THINKING YOU IDIOT. BAKABAKABAKABAKABAKA!!!! U KNOW BETTER!! THAT STUFF IS DISTRACTING AND COMPLICATING STOP STOP STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

And that's as accurate as this "translation" is gonna get. I swear though. 

GOOGLE PLUS IS IN CAHOOTS WITH A BUNCH OF EVIL GENIUSES WHO WANT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD BY BRAINWASHING EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET INTO THINKING THEY ALL WANT BFs IN HIGH SCHOOL BY WAY OF CUTE POSTS, MEMES, AND GIFS!!! HALP!

Or then again. Maybe I just have problems.

Power VI

In this world, we have the power to make every single decision in our life ourselves. (But, only after you've grown up and left your family's home. Before then you only make some of those decisions.) Anyways, people are always making decisions and making the smart decisions for little tasks comes easily. Plus, it makes more sense.

However, I get bored easily. So I tend to not appear as smart. (Just kidding. I'm not smart at all.) Sometimes, I make tasks harder on myself just to challenge myself and give myself a headache.

I'm an idiot.

But that's usually okay.

Anyways, today I got home, opened my laptop, logged on and opened all the tabs necessary for the completion of my homework. I didn't start homework until my loud, annoying, and crazy brothers got home from school, and spent the time between their arrival and the time I got home searching up YouTube videos and chatting.

Maybe I do need help...

So yeah. This happens most days, too. I'm pretty sure I know this is a dumb habit and makes my life more stressful what with having to do serious work while Milan is acting off across the table from me, desperately striving to steal my attention. However, I feel as if doing these kind of dumb "excursive", if you will, helps me learn to do well with or without very load and distracting background noise. In fact, I realized the other day, that between me and my brother, I complain less about the noise level in our house than he does.

Or maybe I have hearing problems. Who knows.

:3

OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Before I end this post I figured I'd share these two videos with you guys 'cause I found this one english cover to a Vocaloid song and was like WOW IT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE!!! I so proud :)

vvv WITHOUT SUBS vvv

vvv WITH SUBS vvv

Sorry I couldn't put the video in the post :(

vvv THIS ONES THE COVER vvv

Power V Tired VI

Not having power, or control over things is very uncomfortable. Like dealing with people can be very uncomfortable if you have a hard time predicting them. Or, like, my intelligence. Sometimes it's perfectly accurate and other times it's completely wrong. Or creativity. Dealing with one's own creativity is easy. You always have control over what you think. But when you have to be subjected to someone else creativity, it get's uncomfortable really fast.

Especially when you find yourself standing with your back to a canvas, watching as your friends take aim as they prepare to fling paint filled water balloons at your person.

This has never happened to me ever. I have no experience with this whatsoever. In fact, I'm pretty sure this has never happened to anyone I know. I'm just talking possibilities here.

But -PSYCHE- this post has nothing to do with that. In fact, I wasn't even gonna do a post on power. Actually I was, but I don't have much to write. Actually that's a lie. I have lots to write about. I just don't wanna post it here. Sigh.

I feel sick and my allergies are killing me, which sucks 'cause it's so nice out.

I miss the winter air.

Can't summer get here faster?

Why do trees have pollen, and why must I be affected?

TREES! GET IT STRAIGHT! MY NOSE DOES NOT WANT TO MATE WITH YOU!

I'm tired.

Gnite~

Tired V and Favorites IV and Power IV

Headaches are definitely the worse thing on the planet. If it were scientifically possible to induce a headache, it would definitely be used as a torture device. Actually I take that back. 

Hiccups are the worst.

However right now I have the worst headache ever so it's only natural I would over look hiccups for the time being. The fact that I haven't eaten or dranken (drinken? drunken? lol not the last one) for a while and have been stuck in a small area crowded with bodies for the past three hours doesn't help me much either, but let me tell you. This son of a gun hurts like ever.

(Like how I didn't curse there?)

Anyways, here I am, smelling like chinese take out, devouring soup by the quart, and typing at light speed just so I can have a sleep over with the friends I haven't had a sleep over with in forever. (Or what feels like it anyway.)

WHY DO I NOT KNOW HOW TO TYPE WITH MORE THEN THREE FINGERS PER HAND???? WHAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY????

Ohhhhhh my head hurtsssssssss.

Well, I'm groaning and moaning and complaining out load and I can tell that Milan is about to get sick of me so I think I'll stop (for a little bit). See, I've been invited to loads of stuff over the years, but never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER HAVE I EVER rushed my writing in at the last minute for the sake of said invitation. 

You know you're one of the favorites if I do that much for you.

I don't have favorites.

Oh the power of favorites!! When someone is your favorite, you will do almost anything for them. (Please note the "almost" in that sentence.) You will cosplay in the most embarrassing costumes ever, try some of the strangest (and not necessarily safe) experiments, let them fricking punch your boob for doing something stupid, and share just about all your clothes. You will eat their food and take their money and not say a thing when the same happens to you, and you will listen to them complain about their ex for hours on end even if you knew the guy was rotten from the start. You will do just about anything sane (and insane) for your favorite people, and that's perfectly fine. It's normal. Which is why it's totally normal for me to be killing my brain cells with this headache as I try to get as much of my thoughts out before taking a thirty second shower (hair and everything, trust me it's possible) and grabbing all your stuff before rushing out of the house and driving across town just to spend a night with these people.

(Note to all english teachers or other passerby who read that last sentence and understood nothing. My apologies for my grammatical  incorrectness. I'm kind of rushing right now.)

Good god I'm tired. Watch me stay up till six am, talking and laughing and chatting all night.

Note: I wrote this post in yellow so that it's hard on your eyes and gives you a headache too.

My apologies for the font color. Please feel free to highlight the text, so as to read this post better. :)

Love and Power III

[My boyfriend] and I had this discussion yesterday about how I don't love him

I'm little and I still don't know what love is yet

To me

Love is when you see no one but that one person, and that's all that matters

That single person has the power to crush your heart with a single sentence

and that's a scary position for me to be in

When someone has so much power over me

I don't like it

But at the same time

It's beautiful

How two people can know everything about each other

flaws, weaknesses, everything

Yet they love them for each mistake they've made

Each imperfection becomes perfect

I'm still young

I don't know what that's like

but so far,

[My Boyfriend] comes pretty damn close

I'm not sure if it's love

but if it is

I love it

~My Anonymouse *squeak* friend, Phoebe

Favorites III and Power II

Over the past year, I've grown to strongly dislike having favorites and taking sides. As of right now, I have no favorite color, favorite song, favorite movie, favorite person, favorite number, favorite memory, favorite ANYTHING. It also make answering questionnaires that much easier to respond to. 

Q: What's your favorite subject?

A: I don't pick favorites.

Q: What's your favorite hair style?

A: I don't pick favorites.

Q: What's your favorite dish?

A: I don't pick favorites.

and so on. Without favorites the world is just that much easier for me to live in. Also, another thing I don't like about favorites, more specifically favoring certain people over others, is that it gives them a sort of power over you.

Teacher: Alice bring this to the office.

Alice: But I thought I was your favorite!?

...or...

Mother: Sammy! That painting is amazing!

Sammy: Does this mean I can have that new game?

Mother: No.

Sammy: But I thought I was your favorite!?

See? People in power chose favorites, who in turn have power over the people in power. The world is in this weird cycle made of favorites and power, and it goes through it every second. This is why I dislike favorites. But it's not like I don't like anything. I like to dance and ski and snowboard and eat and sleep and the colors blue and purple and gray and the taste of the noodle soup at the noodle soup place in Eatontown, but if you asked me for a favorite, I'd tell you I didn't pick any. One thing in my mind is not held above all the others. It's not fair. So I just tend to avoid it. It's easier to live in this world that way.

Power

so last night the power went out. It was weird. We had just gotten home from the beach and we didn't know when the electricity went kaput so I texted a few friend who lived nearby to see if they lived on my grid and if they knew when the power went out. So the friend who lives closest (i wont reviel her name. I'm not sure how she'd react) texted me bak and this is how our convo went:

ME: hey i wanted to no if any of u had electricity and if u no about wat time the lights went out. we just got bak home We were at the beach and saw lightening so we left. txt me bak soon Maya

oh yeah lol we still hav ekectric hbu? :HER

ME: nope nada nothin power dead o well

ohh snap we almost lost it buttt we didnt :HER

ME: lucky bum

I'm sooooooo weird