Tired V and Favorites IV and Power IV

Headaches are definitely the worse thing on the planet. If it were scientifically possible to induce a headache, it would definitely be used as a torture device. Actually I take that back. 

Hiccups are the worst.

However right now I have the worst headache ever so it's only natural I would over look hiccups for the time being. The fact that I haven't eaten or dranken (drinken? drunken? lol not the last one) for a while and have been stuck in a small area crowded with bodies for the past three hours doesn't help me much either, but let me tell you. This son of a gun hurts like ever.

(Like how I didn't curse there?)

Anyways, here I am, smelling like chinese take out, devouring soup by the quart, and typing at light speed just so I can have a sleep over with the friends I haven't had a sleep over with in forever. (Or what feels like it anyway.)

WHY DO I NOT KNOW HOW TO TYPE WITH MORE THEN THREE FINGERS PER HAND???? WHAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY????

Ohhhhhh my head hurtsssssssss.

Well, I'm groaning and moaning and complaining out load and I can tell that Milan is about to get sick of me so I think I'll stop (for a little bit). See, I've been invited to loads of stuff over the years, but never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER HAVE I EVER rushed my writing in at the last minute for the sake of said invitation. 

You know you're one of the favorites if I do that much for you.

I don't have favorites.

Oh the power of favorites!! When someone is your favorite, you will do almost anything for them. (Please note the "almost" in that sentence.) You will cosplay in the most embarrassing costumes ever, try some of the strangest (and not necessarily safe) experiments, let them fricking punch your boob for doing something stupid, and share just about all your clothes. You will eat their food and take their money and not say a thing when the same happens to you, and you will listen to them complain about their ex for hours on end even if you knew the guy was rotten from the start. You will do just about anything sane (and insane) for your favorite people, and that's perfectly fine. It's normal. Which is why it's totally normal for me to be killing my brain cells with this headache as I try to get as much of my thoughts out before taking a thirty second shower (hair and everything, trust me it's possible) and grabbing all your stuff before rushing out of the house and driving across town just to spend a night with these people.

(Note to all english teachers or other passerby who read that last sentence and understood nothing. My apologies for my grammatical  incorrectness. I'm kind of rushing right now.)

Good god I'm tired. Watch me stay up till six am, talking and laughing and chatting all night.

Note: I wrote this post in yellow so that it's hard on your eyes and gives you a headache too.

My apologies for the font color. Please feel free to highlight the text, so as to read this post better. :)

Tall Boys, Cold Food, and a Need for More Cellular Data

Tall boys covered in lean muscle with good eyes, skin, and hair that looks fun to run your fingers through. Every otaku's girl's dream.

I mean, maybe it's just my dream. But that's besides the point.

SO today was the RBCS Fashion Show, which has 1st grade, 3rd grade, and 8th grade models in it. I did my last fashion show last year, and let me tell you, it was a ton of fun.

Speaking of last year, last year I learned of a boy whom all of my friends seemed to be friends with but I only knew his name and face (kind, sorta, not really). For lack of a better substitute, we will call this boy "Spencer". I mean, the kid seemed cool enough, and the stories told about him were always a good source of amusement, but for some reason, it seemed I was the only one in my small circle of Red Bank Charter friends who hadn't met this "Spencer". In fact, my knowledge about this boy was so scarce, I'm not even sure he knows who I am. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he didn't. I just find people like him interesting. Like a good book that you skimmed the back of, but lose it so often you have no time to read it through. 

Anyways, today at the fashion show, said "Spencer" was there. That was another strange thing. He didn't go to our school. He might have never even stepped a foot into our school. But he was always at every single school event we had. And I mean, every. Single. One.

I still have not spoken two words to the guy.

So, fast forward back to today, and see me in the Salvation army, cold eggplant-parm-sub-thing in hand as we walk around aimlessly while the adults help clean up. Those big mop/broom things are sweeping all over the place, catching crumpled programs, candy wrappers, abandoned plates of pizza, and raffle ticket stubs. By the food stand, some moms are rationing out the leftovers, so they don't have to bring home more leftovers than needed. I just keep moving. Circling. Running patterns all over the tile floor as I enjoy my cold parmesan and listen to JRock music. And in the corner, kicking what looks like a fruit loop back and forth, is one of the older Charter Alumni and "Spencer".

Go figure.

Currently, the people closest to my age in the place are those two, but I really don't want to talk to them. Even when the kid who did go to my middle school was still in Charter we never really talked much. And as for "Spencer"... that's an awkward situation I wouldn't mind avoiding. So instead, I pull out my phone and plan to check twitter or work on one of my many unfinished novels or do something that does not require me making awkward conversation with people I know, but not really. There's just one thing.

I have no data or texts left.

!@%^&*#%!$!%&##$%!&!*@^#^*!(#^$*!(!@#$&$(&#(@^_)(%(^@%#*$+@&!%^#*$

My plan renews on the tenth, but three days seems like a really long time when you kind of want your plan renewed now. But I tried my best to deal with my frustration (these first world problems are real bummers) and ended up eating more junk. Surprise, surprise. Typical Maya.

But even as I stood awkwardly by the food table, stuffing my mouth to prevent any need for conversation, I couldn't help but unconsciously track "Spencer" as he moved around the room. I'm not a stalker. Or a creeper. Or weird in any way  (probably). But really, people like this "Spencer" are just too interesting for their own good.

And so, I wasted the past half hour writing about the hour I wasted watching some friend of my friends out of the corner of my eyes.










.... The end.

Love III

In my world there is no middle ground. There is just this constant jumping back and forth between highs, lows, lefts, rights, and backwards. I would include forwards, but seeing as you can't exactly not move forward in time, I figure that's a given. However, I'm not an extremist. Last year, I wondered if that label applied to me, but it really doesn't. 'Cause if you think about it, even though there is no middle ground to stand on, there are always different degrees of everything. It's like this color wheel thing. Something, I'm sure anyone with a decent computer has seen before.

The wheel is the world of all of the emotions and opinions and thoughts and everything anyone has ever experienced ever. But you can only be truly alive if you are on a color. So no matter what, there will always be that one tiny middle space of pure white where you can't stand, can't touch, can't reach. 

Can't live, really.

So it's not really extremist, all things considered. I just don't live in the white space. Just try and imagine how lonely that would feel, being completely unbiased about everything and anything. I know I couldn't do it.

So by that theory, if we apply it to the world, love, and hate (three extremely big concepts I like to dabble in for kicks), does this mean the world loves me? Or hates me?

It's all very puzzling.

Well, on one hand, I could be extremely pessimistic and say that because I have not had a proper confession from the world saying they love me it means that the world must hate me, which pretty much makes me scum that should die within the next few seconds.

But on the other hand, we can assume the world is shy and not straightforward in sending messages (as per usual) and say that because the world hasn't told me it hates me, that it must love me in some way shape or form on some level or the other.

So, by that logic, the world loves me unconditionally, at least a little bit. But the one thing I can say for sure is that the world is not indifferent.

Nothing is truly indifferent or unbiased.

I mean, I can ignore someone for days on end and not show any signs of change. But isn't that a sort of hate? To give someone the cold shoulder is like denying their existence. Why would you go thru the effort if you were truly indifferent?

But if you were indifferent, then why would you talk to them in the first place.

Words like these are so flexible and undefined that they almost feel like jello in your mouth. All wiggly and jiggly and wobbly as ever, but it stays where it is. That would explain why jello is so hard to draw. Try it. It's such a pain. 

SO. If this is my theory, my theory needs a name (you know. just so like, in case it gets real popular and someone decides to be dumb and form a cult after it.) But I wont be super narcissistic and name it after me. That's just rude. It's like saying OH I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER HAD THIS IDEA ON THEIR OWN. There were probably loads of people who came before me. I just happened to write it down. 

I will name it the Indifferent, Unbiased, Clean Slate Theory. It doesnt't even halfway make sense. But that's okay, it suits me fine.

And between making sense and not making sense, the latter seems more interesting.

I should make a theory for that to. The constant need to make a more interesting choice rather than the most logical. Anyways, I will end this now. G'nigh--

[dial tone]

Gay means Happy and Anime III

But that doesn't mean we cant judge Excalibur a little bit....

If you haven't seen Soul Eater yet, you really are missing out. It doesn't have the best art, but the story line is awesome. Also it's just way too funny to pass up. AND IT'S ONLY FIFTY TWO EPISODES. Seriously. Go watch it. Link to episode one below. Don't watch if you aren't at least in eighth grade. Or high school.

With Japanese subs:
http://kissanime.com/Anime/Soul-Eater/Episode-001?id=6712

English dub: http://kissanime.com/Anime/Soul-Eater-Dub/Episode-001?id=6712

And then watch this video 'cause it's funny and a special senpai of mine very kindly showed it to me maybe two minutes ago. (Tanks Roger, you're the bestest.)

SUPER FUNNY YOU SHOULD WATCH

Have a good night :)
(This saying goes for everyone, whether you're sleeping or not. Whoever said that first was a genius.)

I'm Actually HAPPY With Something I Drew *(O.O)*

It's amazing. I spend maybe one extra hour of effort on a piece of paper and BAM, I got a work of art. It really is amazing. I think I'll post a picture. Hold on...

Now I know, I know. It's a little more than depressing. But what can I say. It was a homework assignment on "Pyramus and Thisbe". It's only natural for it to be a little dark. Or a lot dark. Whatever.

:)

I will gaze at my work for a little longer now and absorb this moment.

Endings IV

Endings are pretty sad, huh?

That thought just kept running through my mind. I mean, it was just a movie. By just another director by just another studio with just a little significance. But at the same time it wasn't. Not for me (and a select few).

The Wind Rises is Hayao Miyazaki's last film before his retirement. There will be no more. No more movies to watch on rainy days. No more movies to watch when we're snowed inside. No more movies like Totoro, Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, or Kiki's Delivery Service. I think I will cry.

Actually no I take that back. I have enough pimples as it is.

But on another note, really, why must endings be so sad?? Is there like, some unwritten but forever permanent law in our universe saying that when things come to an end I must cry (or at least feel a little sad)?

No. I am God so I deem whatever rule was in place (if any were there to begin with) NULL AND VOID. I WILL NOT BE SAD. I WILL SIMPLY SWEAT PROFUSELY OUT OF MY EYEBALLS.

This movie was just too sad to be the last one.

I will go watch anime in my room and read some romance novel till I pass out.

Screw dinner.

I will sleep away the sadness.

Good night.

:'(

The Internet Is Out To Get Me

I know it is. I'm always doing something wrong or something other than expected, and usually, actually, more often than "usually", I can trace my problems back to the internet.

Random sample conversation between me, my mother, and Indy (note this is not what we actually said. My memory isn't that amazing.) :

Indy: [Looks over at my screen] Mamaaaaa~ [said in whiny tone]

Mama: [Still watching some show on Hulu] What Indy?

Indy: Maya's using screeeeen tiiiiiiiiiime.

Mama: Maya do your homework [looks up at us] [goes back to TV show]

I was~ [still searching youtube/watching anime/chatting people] :Me

Mama: No you're not

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. That chat/ad/email/notification was distracting me :Me

Mama: Maya! No excuses! Do your work now!

SORRY SORRY I'M ON IT :Me

Indy: [smirk]

[kick] :Me

Indy: [opens mouth to yell]

[under breath] sorry sorry. go back to your book already. :Me

And that's pretty much how it goes.

I mean, is it really my fault that the internet distracts me so easily? There are the Google notifications and the Twitter notifications, my Google Drive, Instagram, texts and iMessage, Facebook, and YouTube. There's so many pings and buzzes and rings and dings being made just for my attention that it's only natural to get distracted. Well sure, I could just go and turn all my devices off, close all of my unneeded pages, and just work and work and work... but then there'd be no fun and I'd just get distracted by something else to be less bored. It's such a first world problem, so petty and dumb, but it is a part of my life nonetheless and so I will write on it. The internet hates my guts. I love it anyways.

We have quite the relationship, the internet and I. I can hear Siri getting jealous already.

Just kidding! :)

Reading IV and Music VIII and Anime II

Here's a tip to all you people out there who actually like to read. Do not, ever, never, I repeat, NEVER sit curled into a ball in a car on a bouncy road and read from your phone or other device with the brightness on the lowest setting and font size set to 10. It's not very comfortable.

My stomach hurts.

Anyway, onto the reason I didn't text anyone or call anyone or chat anyone all day till maybe seven pm... ish. My dad and I went snowboarding today, and my phone is out of cellular data. So no wifi = torture. But can you imagine something worse with me for maybe two seconds (I don't know how fast you read).

No wifi, no data, AND no earbuds.

The unfairness of it all! But I'm okay, I think. I'm still mentally stable (or at least as stable as before) and emotionally healthy (for the most part).

I would keep going from there, but I'm jumping all over the place with this story. So, let me start again, from what I guess we will consider "The Beginning".

So, originally, we had planned for my family of five and my biffle's/soul sista's/best friend's/pet alien's/crazy cat lady's family to all go skiing (snowboarding in my case) together in the poconos. But then we realized a fatal flaw to this plan. The Iditaread was happening. That pretty much throws everything out of whack.

Now I realize that a lot of my readers now are probably not from or related in any way, shape, or form to my middle school, so I will go on to explain the Iditaread to you here.

THE RBCS IDITAREAD- Created by the RBCS's librarians to get children into the habit of reading on a more regular basis, the Iditaread happens at the same time as the Iditarod, a long-distance sled dog race run in early March from Anchorage to Nome. Each year, the classes of (about) twenty students work as a team to read the most number of hours. Students also compete amongst themselves to win the "Class Top Dog" award (usually money and a tee shirt) and the "School Wide Top Dog" award (which was double the amount of money, a tee shirt, and a simple nook last year). Student's are required to read at least one hour a day, or else they are practically shunned by their class for being the ones that "made them lose". (I swear I heard those words uttered to the slackers every year, not even kidding.)

Okay, so I know it doesn't sound like that big a deal, but there are some very, very, VERY competitive kids in my middle school. And said kids will wake up at five in the morning to read anything they can get their hands on, and won't stop till past nine o'clock at night. Some of those said kids just happen to live in my house. Last year there were three. Thank god I graduated.

Anyways, because of their want to win, both of my brothers opted out of skiing with their friends in favor of gaining maybe 16 or 17 more hours in the Iditaread in exchange for fun time on the weekends. And since someone needs to stay home to remind them to eat, my mother didn't go skiing either. Which left my father and I.

I enjoy being better at snowboarding. It makes me feel superior.

However, I don't enjoy long car rides early in the morning, so typically I would listen to music or watch anime on the way to the mountain. However this morning was different. I left my earbuds at school on Friday, like a boss.

I was SOL. Sigh.

The ride there was fine. I passed out within the first ten minutes. However, my story takes place on the way back home.

My body was going into a food coma from the chicken fingers and fries I had practically inhaled before stuffing my board in my dad's car and strapping in for the long ride home. But once we hit the road, there was no way I could sleep. I can nap in the sunlight. I can nap in the moonlight. I can nap when there's no light. But head lights? Streetlights?

Oh, hell no.

No earbuds. No data. No wifi. I was screwed. And so, with my father's scratched book on CD playing in the background, I reached out to the last source of entertainment left to me.

I read an eBook off the tiny screen of my phone. 

As if my eyesight wasn't bad enough, I left all of my settings as they were to conserve my battery. Brightness down. Font size tiny. I tried getting comfortable in my snow pants and jacket. Actually, I thought, screw the jacket. It was tossed unceremoniously in the backseat. Boots off, hair down, now all that was left was to find a comfortable reading position. But there were no arm rests to lean on. No table where I could rest. None. Nada. Zilch. 

I ended up in a fetal position with my neck bent at an inhuman angle and my screen maybe three inches from my face. I sat like that for two and a half hours, completely absorbed in the story, not even paying attention to what I was doing to my body. And then we were home. 

My head feels like mush.

Moral of the story: Never go anywhere unprepared. And always bring along earbuds.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have the ninth episode of an amazing anime waiting for me.

Tired IV and Reading III and Music VII and Anime

I get home and BAM, I realize five million things that are wrong with me. My right eye is completely swollen, or at least feels like it. Swollen and dry. Probably from the chlorine that got in it this morning. And then theres this awful pulling, pinching, hurting feeling behind my left knee, like where that tendon (I think) is. And I'm limping because of said feeling. And then I have a kink in my neck, which pops when I turn to see if the pain behind my knee is caused by external forces, which makes the entire side of my neck, collar, and jaw go warm, fuzzy, then numb.

And I'm hungry.

That's the worst part of it all.

Talk about some way to start off the weekend/month/slice of life/night. I'm covered in sticky sweat from the too bright, too hot lights at work, and my stomach growls uncomfortably at the smell of soup and chicken.

"I'm home~" I say loud enough to be heard by the whole house.

Silence.

I mean it's sort of expected by this point. The Iditaread (Iditarod plus read. Get it? Haha.) has been going on for a couple of days and every year the Ghosh children go into zombie mode. Indy's somewhere in the living room reading Eragon and Milan is... I think he's reading manga between the folds of some chapter book from school, the cheater. So it's normal, especially this time of year, for my household to be silent like the grave. 

That saying really confuses me. "Silent like the grave". Who said graves were silent? What if the dead are making noises when you aren't there to hear it?? Hm? What then? And what about the sounds made by bugs and animals scratching and crawling around, over, under, into said grave? That about those noises? Same thing with "zombie mode" actually. People say zombies are brainless, thoughtless, dumb, etc., but what if they are actually the smartest beings on the planet? Maybe that's why no one ever sees them or knows they exist. 'Cause they're amazing at hiding. Like mermaids. 

Let's get back to now though. 

So here I am trying to write something decent, but the power of the internet... It's overpowering. It really is. I ended up doing multiple searches for other albums or singles or ANYTHING else by Hello Sleepwalkers (an awesome JRock band who I love) other than Goya no Machiawase, which is the opening to Noragami which is pretty badass itself. AND I PREVAILED. THEY CAME OUT WITH A NEW ALBUM LAST WEEK. I'M IN HEAVEN. But I can't download it yet. And so I will cry.

Unfortunately, however, I can't cry out of my right eye because it's still puffy and dry, and bloodshot now to top it off. I'm tired, sore, and mentally exhausted. A nap is in order. I'll wake up in a few hours to do the rest of my french homework. Maybe.

おやすみ (Oyasumi) ~

おはよう! (Ohayou!)

WAAAAAAAH! (This part is blue like the color of my tears) I was gonna post this yesterday morning (night? I don't even know, it was sometime after midnight) and then I went back to sleep. But I sound really happy in this post so I might as well post it anyways because you never waste anything if your asian. Not food or toilet paper or words. Sorry if that sounded or was really racist, but if you are anything like me, you know it's true.

So! On to better things (~_~ ;) ...

To be posted on February 28, 2014 at (maybe, possibly, might have been, I think) 3 o'clock in the morning (?) :

GOOD MORNING みんな (MINNA)!

Okay so for anyone who actual comes to visit my blog once in a while, you may have noticed that I completely redid the look. And I know. I know.

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

I absolutely love it, but the lack of wings is kind of sad so I think I'm gonna end up posting a bunch of flying anime people eventually (just kidding), but moving on.

So tomorrow is March 1st which marks a whole bunch of irrelevant and unimportant things but I will tell you about them anyways.

So for one, there will be just ONE MORE MONTH till April Fools Day, which is the most amazing holiday in the history of the world because pranks are awesome and having a reason to not get beaten to a pulp if you get caught is even better. 

Another amazing event marked by 3/1/14 is the start of SLICE OF LIFE 2014! I would include a link to some website or the other here but seeing as I'm too lazy to chat people back, we can all conclude I'm just too lazy to find it. Anyways, I've been practically dying to do Slice of Life for the past year (I missed last years by a month) and now not only will I be doing it, I'M GETTING A GRADE IN ENGLISH FOR IT, TOO!

Yay free A's. I should write a poem for it. But I won't. Maybe. 

Another amazing fact about March 1st is...

Yeah, no. I'm getting sleepy. I'll post this when I wake up.