Favorites VI

やっぱり(yappari), winter is now officially my favorite season. 

The bugs are back.

I mean, really, what is the point of a mosquitos existence? Is there even a reason behind there existence?? NO. THERE IS NONE! NONE. ないよ (nai yo)! Sigh. I really hate those bugs. I go out for two seconds to take out the trash, and on my way back in I leave the door open maybe two seconds longer than usual because of a gust of wind, and where does that land me?? WITH A BUNCH OF ANNOYING BLOODSUCKING STOWAWAY PARASITES WHO MAKE ME ITCH LIKE CRAZY!

I swear. Every few seconds I have to smack my arm where it itches to keep from scratching. ずるい(zurui)!

Maybe I should go around tomorrow and douse the house with bug repellent. I wonder if Mama will let me...

Lol like that would happen.

Ahh~ Stupid spring. Mosquitos should just die off already. 

Also I gave in awhile ago and started scratching. My arm is covered in red lines...

AHH THEY'RE SO FRICKING ANNOYING!

Favorites V

So I finally got into a "writing mood" I guess and had some really deep thoughts that have to get out or else I think I'll combust with the deepness and my attempts at being viewed as a shallow teenager throughout the duration of my high school years will be for naught.

If you're not sure whether or not that last sentence made any grammatical sense, I'm not that sure myself, but fret not!! For I'm pretty sure I'm sane. For now.

Now before I get to my deep musings or whatever let me just make a quick comment on the topic of hiccups. Hiccups are annoying as Hell if Hell were a person with sweaty hands, dirty hair, and a nasally voice. And for some reason, whenever I feel like I'm being smart, or try to talk intelligently with people of this world, I'm suddenly plagued with multiple bouts of hiccups. 

I HATE HICCUPS! 

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Okay. So as we all know, favoritism sucks buns.

Having favorites changes the amount of attention we give to any one thing at a time, and that can really affect things. Like, lets say you have a garden, and you claim to love all your plants and love caring for them and treat them like your children and so on and so on, right? Well let's say in your head you have one or two of your favorite plants, whether they're your favorite due to aesthetics, scent, durability, practicality, or just because, it doesn't matter. Just the fact that in your head, that plant is somehow special to you, is all that matters.

I mean, if it's your favorite plant, you're going to spend more time paying attention to it obviously. You'll do your best not to neglect little things like whether that new leaf is too dry or if that flower bud has been half open for too long or whatever. You'll notice. And then you'll do your best to help it and fix it and let it grow, am I right? (The correct answer was yes.)

All of that attention for one plant in a garden of hundreds, all because it's your favorite. Where is the logic?

It's no where.

Which makes me have some really cynical thoughts. I mean, you could be someone's favorite for any reason really. You might never even KNOW the reason. You might not ever even know that your ARE their favorite. But all of the perks of being a persons favorite will be yours, whether you know it or not, and you can never change it unless you change yourself, which, as we all should know by now, is no easy task.

So the whole idea of following your dreams and trying hard to do what you want and being who you are and whatever, it all seems like some joke if you think about the fact that all of the effort one puts into being their true self could be for nothing if they aren't the favorite of certain people. If you can't get people to like you, then no matter how much talent you have or how much determination and persistence you show, it won't matter. You can't get anywhere without being a favorite. Actually let me revise. 

You can't get anywhere without being somewhat well liked.

The world is a harsh place and sometimes it makes me want to crawl up under the covers and hide my face and sleep and sleep and sleep like a bear during the winter with fuzzy pants on and a super comfy tank top and all of my favorite songs playing in my head over and over. 

But I can't do that and really, I wouldn't be happy with such an unsatisfactory life. Because one lesson I've learned over the years is that safe does not necessarily equal happy. That sounds so deep in retrospect, but I actually learned that from a trivial matter dealing with vacuums and homework. 

ANYWAYS! That concludes my probably meaningless rant on something that seemed far more important when I thought it than when I wrote it all out. If you actually gleamed anything of value from all of this feel free to comment. Or just comment for the heck of it. I don't really care. I'm tired. Sigh.

Tired V and Favorites IV and Power IV

Headaches are definitely the worse thing on the planet. If it were scientifically possible to induce a headache, it would definitely be used as a torture device. Actually I take that back. 

Hiccups are the worst.

However right now I have the worst headache ever so it's only natural I would over look hiccups for the time being. The fact that I haven't eaten or dranken (drinken? drunken? lol not the last one) for a while and have been stuck in a small area crowded with bodies for the past three hours doesn't help me much either, but let me tell you. This son of a gun hurts like ever.

(Like how I didn't curse there?)

Anyways, here I am, smelling like chinese take out, devouring soup by the quart, and typing at light speed just so I can have a sleep over with the friends I haven't had a sleep over with in forever. (Or what feels like it anyway.)

WHY DO I NOT KNOW HOW TO TYPE WITH MORE THEN THREE FINGERS PER HAND???? WHAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY????

Ohhhhhh my head hurtsssssssss.

Well, I'm groaning and moaning and complaining out load and I can tell that Milan is about to get sick of me so I think I'll stop (for a little bit). See, I've been invited to loads of stuff over the years, but never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER HAVE I EVER rushed my writing in at the last minute for the sake of said invitation. 

You know you're one of the favorites if I do that much for you.

I don't have favorites.

Oh the power of favorites!! When someone is your favorite, you will do almost anything for them. (Please note the "almost" in that sentence.) You will cosplay in the most embarrassing costumes ever, try some of the strangest (and not necessarily safe) experiments, let them fricking punch your boob for doing something stupid, and share just about all your clothes. You will eat their food and take their money and not say a thing when the same happens to you, and you will listen to them complain about their ex for hours on end even if you knew the guy was rotten from the start. You will do just about anything sane (and insane) for your favorite people, and that's perfectly fine. It's normal. Which is why it's totally normal for me to be killing my brain cells with this headache as I try to get as much of my thoughts out before taking a thirty second shower (hair and everything, trust me it's possible) and grabbing all your stuff before rushing out of the house and driving across town just to spend a night with these people.

(Note to all english teachers or other passerby who read that last sentence and understood nothing. My apologies for my grammatical  incorrectness. I'm kind of rushing right now.)

Good god I'm tired. Watch me stay up till six am, talking and laughing and chatting all night.

Note: I wrote this post in yellow so that it's hard on your eyes and gives you a headache too.

My apologies for the font color. Please feel free to highlight the text, so as to read this post better. :)

Favorites III and Power II

Over the past year, I've grown to strongly dislike having favorites and taking sides. As of right now, I have no favorite color, favorite song, favorite movie, favorite person, favorite number, favorite memory, favorite ANYTHING. It also make answering questionnaires that much easier to respond to. 

Q: What's your favorite subject?

A: I don't pick favorites.

Q: What's your favorite hair style?

A: I don't pick favorites.

Q: What's your favorite dish?

A: I don't pick favorites.

and so on. Without favorites the world is just that much easier for me to live in. Also, another thing I don't like about favorites, more specifically favoring certain people over others, is that it gives them a sort of power over you.

Teacher: Alice bring this to the office.

Alice: But I thought I was your favorite!?

...or...

Mother: Sammy! That painting is amazing!

Sammy: Does this mean I can have that new game?

Mother: No.

Sammy: But I thought I was your favorite!?

See? People in power chose favorites, who in turn have power over the people in power. The world is in this weird cycle made of favorites and power, and it goes through it every second. This is why I dislike favorites. But it's not like I don't like anything. I like to dance and ski and snowboard and eat and sleep and the colors blue and purple and gray and the taste of the noodle soup at the noodle soup place in Eatontown, but if you asked me for a favorite, I'd tell you I didn't pick any. One thing in my mind is not held above all the others. It's not fair. So I just tend to avoid it. It's easier to live in this world that way.

Favorites II

It's very obvious when someone has favorites. Take this one teacher who will be going by Squirrel. I think Cute Like Minnie Mouse might be one of his favorites, but Blonde Crust and Former Broccoli Head obviously are not. Blonde Crust was falling from the playground so she screamed like any decent human being and said sh** by accident. Of course guess who is standing right there to witness the whole thing? Squirrel. Go figure! So Squirrel moves away from his position on recess duty and starts walking in our direction. In any normal circumstance Squirrel would ask if the kid was alright and tell them either to go to the nurses office or be more careful depending on what the response was. But this isn't any normal circumstance, this is Blonde Crust. So Squirrel  asks her "politely" to "please go and sit by the office for the rest of recess while I decide your punishment" or something like that. So everyone just looks at him. And looks at him. And looks at him some more. Finally Blonde Crust says one word "Why?". I mean really. The poor girl (I use that term loosely) just fell from four feet up and you're going to punish her! It's ludicrous! And you wanna know what his reason for punishing her was? Because she cursed. Because she cursed WHILE FALLING FROM FOUR FEET UP!!!! And at least five kids walked right in front of Squirrel while cursing every two breathes! Talk about favorites.


And as for Broccoli Head (the former part is just too annoying), she and Blonde Crust usually end up missing recesses together almost three time a week because of something stupid like that. It could be "oh, you guys are late by one minute because your class ended later then usual, you're punished," or "you are not allowed to giggle or laugh while playing a game of dodge ball/soccer/etc., you're punished". Fifteen million other kids could do the same thing, same day, during the same class, but only Blonde Crust and Broccoli Head would "be punished". It's so stupid. 


You know what? I'm publishing this in pink. Maybe it will help lift the spirits of Blonde Crust and Broccoli Head. (Probably mostly Broccoli Head but whatever). KTSM!!!!!

Favorites

Today I asked my dad what his favorite memory was. I said "Papa? What's your favorite memory?"


He starts walking away. "I have to tell the boys something." I follow him. He tells the boys they can watch a half an hour of Cartoon Network because he wants to watch the end of Tour de France.


So I asked him if he has a favorite memory. I said "Papa? Do you have a favorite memory?"


He looks at me and says "Maya. I have a lot of good memories. Okay?"


While I'm listening I realize a few things: a) "Maya." is not a complete sentence, b) You are not supposed to say "a lot" when you are not talking about a piece of land or an actual lot, c) "good" is the most obviously simplistic adjective that is over used and the one that teachers always bring up when they are telling you to use specific 'juicy' words to describe something, and d) the "okay" at the end was said in a slightly annoyed tone of voice and that under other circumstances I should be offended but I'm not because it is a very hot day and I completely understand him. But still, for someone so smart, he doesn't always make the best choice when it comes to speaking. Come to think of it neither do I. Not that I really care. It's just interesting.


He starts walking towards the back door to talk to my mother about something and clean the grill (we just had lunch) but before he gets there I ask what his happiest memory is then. I said "Papa? What is your happiest memory then?"


He looks at me, hand on the door knob (we keep it completely closed to keep the house cooler) and he says "Not right now Maya. Ask me later."


And that's it. After reading this you probably think I'm pretty weird or slightly mentally disabled. But I'm not. But most of my friends agree with the weird part, but just jokingly. And if you were to mention the mentally disabled part to them, they would probably blow up in your face. And if you were to mention that to me about them, they would restrain me while I tried to get right in your face and tell you what I thought you were. So your best bet is to not say anything slightly demeaning (or overly flattering, bordering on kiss-up), unless you know us pretty well. But then again you probably wont meet any of us, and if you did you wouldn't realize who we were. So you're good...for now...dun dun dun! ")


btw my dad's favorite memories were proposing to my mother (it's a funny story) and finding out they were pregnant with me...even if they didn't know it was me at the time.


Alrighty! Now that this is over I should figure out how to format this blog. It's so different using the new format. Where is that button?...