Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Endings IV

Endings are pretty sad, huh?

That thought just kept running through my mind. I mean, it was just a movie. By just another director by just another studio with just a little significance. But at the same time it wasn't. Not for me (and a select few).

The Wind Rises is Hayao Miyazaki's last film before his retirement. There will be no more. No more movies to watch on rainy days. No more movies to watch when we're snowed inside. No more movies like Totoro, Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, or Kiki's Delivery Service. I think I will cry.

Actually no I take that back. I have enough pimples as it is.

But on another note, really, why must endings be so sad?? Is there like, some unwritten but forever permanent law in our universe saying that when things come to an end I must cry (or at least feel a little sad)?

No. I am God so I deem whatever rule was in place (if any were there to begin with) NULL AND VOID. I WILL NOT BE SAD. I WILL SIMPLY SWEAT PROFUSELY OUT OF MY EYEBALLS.

This movie was just too sad to be the last one.

I will go watch anime in my room and read some romance novel till I pass out.

Screw dinner.

I will sleep away the sadness.

Good night.

:'(

Monday, March 3, 2014

The Internet Is Out To Get Me

I know it is. I'm always doing something wrong or something other than expected, and usually, actually, more often than "usually", I can trace my problems back to the internet.

Random sample conversation between me, my mother, and Indy (note this is not what we actually said. My memory isn't that amazing.) :

Indy: [Looks over at my screen] Mamaaaaa~ [said in whiny tone]

Mama: [Still watching some show on Hulu] What Indy?

Indy: Maya's using screeeeen tiiiiiiiiiime.

Mama: Maya do your homework [looks up at us] [goes back to TV show]


I was~ [still searching youtube/watching anime/chatting people] :Me

Mama: No you're not

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. That chat/ad/email/notification was distracting me :Me

Mama: Maya! No excuses! Do your work now!

SORRY SORRY I'M ON IT :Me

Indy: [smirk]

[kick] :Me
Indy: [opens mouth to yell]

[under breath] sorry sorry. go back to your book already. :Me


And that's pretty much how it goes.

I mean, is it really my fault that the internet distracts me so easily? There are the Google notifications and the Twitter notifications, my Google Drive, Instagram, texts and iMessage, Facebook, and YouTube. There's so many pings and buzzes and rings and dings being made just for my attention that it's only natural to get distracted. Well sure, I could just go and turn all my devices off, close all of my unneeded pages, and just work and work and work... but then there'd be no fun and I'd just get distracted by something else to be less bored. It's such a first world problem, so petty and dumb, but it is a part of my life nonetheless and so I will write on it. The internet hates my guts. I love it anyways.

We have quite the relationship, the internet and I. I can hear Siri getting jealous already.

Just kidding! :)

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Reading IV and Music VIII and Anime II

Here's a tip to all you people out there who actually like to read. Do not, ever, never, I repeat, NEVER sit curled into a ball in a car on a bouncy road and read from your phone or other device with the brightness on the lowest setting and font size set to 10. It's not very comfortable.

My stomach hurts.


Anyway, onto the reason I didn't text anyone or call anyone or chat anyone all day till maybe seven pm... ish. My dad and I went snowboarding today, and my phone is out of cellular data. So no wifi = torture. But can you imagine something worse with me for maybe two seconds (I don't know how fast you read).


No wifi, no data, AND no earbuds.


The unfairness of it all! But I'm okay, I think. I'm still mentally stable (or at least as stable as before) and emotionally healthy (for the most part).


I would keep going from there, but I'm jumping all over the place with this story. So, let me start again, from what I guess we will consider "The Beginning".


So, originally, we had planned for my family of five and my biffle's/soul sista's/best friend's/pet alien's/crazy cat lady's family to all go skiing (snowboarding in my case) together in the poconos. But then we realized a fatal flaw to this plan. The Iditaread was happening. That pretty much throws everything out of whack.


Now I realize that a lot of my readers now are probably not from or related in any way, shape, or form to my middle school, so I will go on to explain the Iditaread to you here.


THE RBCS IDITAREAD- Created by the RBCS's librarians to get children into the habit of reading on a more regular basis, the Iditaread happens at the same time as the Iditarod, a long-distance sled dog race run in early March from Anchorage to Nome. Each year, the classes of (about) twenty students work as a team to read the most number of hours. Students also compete amongst themselves to win the "Class Top Dog" award (usually money and a tee shirt) and the "School Wide Top Dog" award (which was double the amount of money, a tee shirt, and a simple nook last year). Student's are required to read at least one hour a day, or else they are practically shunned by their class for being the ones that "made them lose". (I swear I heard those words uttered to the slackers every year, not even kidding.)


Okay, so I know it doesn't sound like that big a deal, but there are some very, very, VERY competitive kids in my middle school. And said kids will wake up at five in the morning to read anything they can get their hands on, and won't stop till past nine o'clock at night. Some of those said kids just happen to live in my house. Last year there were three. Thank god I graduated.


Anyways, because of their want to win, both of my brothers opted out of skiing with their friends in favor of gaining maybe 16 or 17 more hours in the Iditaread in exchange for fun time on the weekends. And since someone needs to stay home to remind them to eat, my mother didn't go skiing either. Which left my father and I.


I enjoy being better at snowboarding. It makes me feel superior.


However, I don't enjoy long car rides early in the morning, so typically I would listen to music or watch anime on the way to the mountain. However this morning was different. I left my earbuds at school on Friday, like a boss.


I was SOL. Sigh.


The ride there was fine. I passed out within the first ten minutes. However, my story takes place on the way back home.


My body was going into a food coma from the chicken fingers and fries I had practically inhaled before stuffing my board in my dad's car and strapping in for the long ride home. But once we hit the road, there was no way I could sleep. I can nap in the sunlight. I can nap in the moonlight. I can nap when there's no light. But head lights? Streetlights?


Oh, hell no.


No earbuds. No data. No wifi. I was screwed. And so, with my father's scratched book on CD playing in the background, I reached out to the last source of entertainment left to me.


I read an eBook off the tiny screen of my phone. 


As if my eyesight wasn't bad enough, I left all of my settings as they were to conserve my battery. Brightness down. Font size tiny. I tried getting comfortable in my snow pants and jacket. Actually, I thought, screw the jacket. It was tossed unceremoniously in the backseat. Boots off, hair down, now all that was left was to find a comfortable reading position. But there were no arm rests to lean on. No table where I could rest. None. Nada. Zilch. 


I ended up in a fetal position with my neck bent at an inhuman angle and my screen maybe three inches from my face. I sat like that for two and a half hours, completely absorbed in the story, not even paying attention to what I was doing to my body. And then we were home. 


My head feels like mush.


Moral of the story: Never go anywhere unprepared. And always bring along earbuds.


Now if you'll excuse me, I have the ninth episode of an amazing anime waiting for me.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Tired IV and Reading III and Music VII and Anime

I get home and BAM, I realize five million things that are wrong with me. My right eye is completely swollen, or at least feels like it. Swollen and dry. Probably from the chlorine that got in it this morning. And then theres this awful pulling, pinching, hurting feeling behind my left knee, like where that tendon (I think) is. And I'm limping because of said feeling. And then I have a kink in my neck, which pops when I turn to see if the pain behind my knee is caused by external forces, which makes the entire side of my neck, collar, and jaw go warm, fuzzy, then numb.

And I'm hungry.

That's the worst part of it all.

Talk about some way to start off the weekend/month/slice of life/night. I'm covered in sticky sweat from the too bright, too hot lights at work, and my stomach growls uncomfortably at the smell of soup and chicken.

"I'm home~" I say loud enough to be heard by the whole house.

Silence.

I mean it's sort of expected by this point. The Iditaread (Iditarod plus read. Get it? Haha.) has been going on for a couple of days and every year the Ghosh children go into zombie mode. Indy's somewhere in the living room reading Eragon and Milan is... I think he's reading manga between the folds of some chapter book from school, the cheater. So it's normal, especially this time of year, for my household to be silent like the grave. 

That saying really confuses me. "Silent like the grave". Who said graves were silent? What if the dead are making noises when you aren't there to hear it?? Hm? What then? And what about the sounds made by bugs and animals scratching and crawling around, over, under, into said grave? That about those noises? Same thing with "zombie mode" actually. People say zombies are brainless, thoughtless, dumb, etc., but what if they are actually the smartest beings on the planet? Maybe that's why no one ever sees them or knows they exist. 'Cause they're amazing at hiding. Like mermaids. 

Let's get back to now though. 

So here I am trying to write something decent, but the power of the internet... It's overpowering. It really is. I ended up doing multiple searches for other albums or singles or ANYTHING else by Hello Sleepwalkers (an awesome JRock band who I love) other than Goya no Machiawase, which is the opening to Noragami which is pretty badass itself. AND I PREVAILED. THEY CAME OUT WITH A NEW ALBUM LAST WEEK. I'M IN HEAVEN. But I can't download it yet. And so I will cry.

Unfortunately, however, I can't cry out of my right eye because it's still puffy and dry, and bloodshot now to top it off. I'm tired, sore, and mentally exhausted. A nap is in order. I'll wake up in a few hours to do the rest of my french homework. Maybe.

おやすみ (Oyasumi) ~

おはよう! (Ohayou!)

WAAAAAAAH! (This part is blue like the color of my tears) I was gonna post this yesterday morning (night? I don't even know, it was sometime after midnight) and then I went back to sleep. But I sound really happy in this post so I might as well post it anyways because you never waste anything if your asian. Not food or toilet paper or words. Sorry if that sounded or was really racist, but if you are anything like me, you know it's true.

So! On to better things (~_~ ;) ...

To be posted on February 28, 2014 at (maybe, possibly, might have been, I think) 3 o'clock in the morning (?) :

GOOD MORNING みんな (MINNA)!

Okay so for anyone who actual comes to visit my blog once in a while, you may have noticed that I completely redid the look. And I know. I know.

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

I absolutely love it, but the lack of wings is kind of sad so I think I'm gonna end up posting a bunch of flying anime people eventually (just kidding), but moving on.

So tomorrow is March 1st which marks a whole bunch of irrelevant and unimportant things but I will tell you about them anyways.

So for one, there will be just ONE MORE MONTH till April Fools Day, which is the most amazing holiday in the history of the world because pranks are awesome and having a reason to not get beaten to a pulp if you get caught is even better. 

Another amazing event marked by 3/1/14 is the start of SLICE OF LIFE 2014! I would include a link to some website or the other here but seeing as I'm too lazy to chat people back, we can all conclude I'm just too lazy to find it. Anyways, I've been practically dying to do Slice of Life for the past year (I missed last years by a month) and now not only will I be doing it, I'M GETTING A GRADE IN ENGLISH FOR IT, TOO!

Yay free A's. I should write a poem for it. But I won't. Maybe. 

Another amazing fact about March 1st is...

Yeah, no. I'm getting sleepy. I'll post this when I wake up.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Love II and Music VI and Endings III and Beginnings

So I just got back from my little brothers class dinner and like the procrastinator that I am, I decided to write a poem that spontaneously formed in my head. I know its been a really really REALLY long time but I might as well post late then never (not that more than maybe two or three people actually pay attention to what I write but WHAT THE HECK might as well ^_^)

So this one is called "Second Chances". Not the best title, but it's better then "Untitled".

Tracing the paths I used to trace
Over the curves and lines of your face
Back at square one
We’ve begun
to relearn

Palm to palm is holy palmers kiss
the feel of you is one I sorely missed
I remember the song
we’ve begun
to relearn

But sometimes
the world
doesn’t do
what you thought

and sometimes
the world
is at wrong
and you’re not

and sometimes
we realize
its not
all in vain

and sometimes
we realize
we can try
and learn again

Tracing the paths I used to trace
Over the curves and lines of your face
We’re passing square one
We’ve got more

to relearn

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Love and Power III


[My boyfriend] and I had this discussion yesterday about how I don't love him
I'm little and I still don't know what love is yet

To me
Love is when you see no one but that one person, and that's all that matters
That single person has the power to crush your heart with a single sentence
and that's a scary position for me to be in

When someone has so much power over me
I don't like it
But at the same time
It's beautiful

How two people can know everything about each other
flaws, weaknesses, everything
Yet they love them for each mistake they've made
Each imperfection becomes perfect
I'm still young
I don't know what that's like
but so far,
[My Boyfriend] comes pretty damn close
I'm not sure if it's love
but if it is

I love it

~My Anonymouse *squeak* friend, Phoebe

Friday, November 1, 2013

Music V

I will never be a songwriter. But that doesn't mean I can't try!
Yeah no. Nevermind. It does.
Hehe. This one is called Hurricane. I try too hard. (TRY HARD!!!!)

This is how it ends
just like how it all began


with you on one end
and them on the other
and me stuck somewhere
just stuck in the middle


of this crazy
mad
amazing
wind of war
the hurricane comes
and rips us apart
(the hurricane comes)
it tears at our hearts
brings our world to the floor
no, we can’t deal with this
cra-zi-ness no more


baby, baby
why are we falling apart
(baby, baby)
why are you breaking my heart
(baby, baby)
I thought that you were innocent
not gonna let myself
get sucked into this shit
again


This is how it ends
you feel the world cave in


shattered glass covers the floor
can’t you see there’s so much more
then this wild storm of hate
then this savage storm of fury


then this crazy
mad
amazing
wind of war
the hurricane comes
and rips us apart
(the hurricane comes)
it tears at our hearts
brings our world to the floor
no, we can’t deal with this
cra-zi-ness no more


baby, baby
why are we falling apart
(baby, baby)
why are you breaking my heart
(baby, baby)
I thought that you were innocent
not gonna let myself
get sucked into this shit
again


we’re watching as the days go by
eyes clouded with fake tears gone dry
we see the universe gone wrong
but all I do is sing this stupid
song


baby, baby
why are we falling apart
(baby, baby)
why are you breaking my heart
(baby, baby)
I thought that you were innocent
not gonna let myself
get sucked into this shit-


baby, baby
here we go again
(baby, baby)
this has gotta be the end
(baby, baby)
we gotta get out of this mess
‘cause I don’t want things to end like this-


baby, baby
why are we falling apart
(baby, baby)
why are you breaking my heart
(baby, baby)
I thought that you were innocent
not gonna let myself
get sucked into this shit
again

M'kay. Now that you've finished plowing through my terrible attempt at songwriting you should really go look up About a Girl by The Academy is...
You should also definitely listen to every single song ever by Two Door Cinema Club (my current faves are Changing of the Seasons Eat it up, That's good for You Undercover Martyn)
OOOOHH!!! And it'd be horrible if I missed Hoodie Allen. Not Woodie Allen (for those of you of an older age group). It's Hoodie Allen. #whitegirlproblems. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
And if you aren't already a die hard fan of OneRepublic (not direction. ew) Then get to it. Won't Stop. So. Freaking. Cute. :*

Monday, September 30, 2013

Tired III

Okay. So I've started babysitting/tutoring my mother's, friend's, middle son. It's one of the most tiring things I have ever done. So after waking up insanely early to catch my bus and enduring a whole day of school (forgetting my ramen nonetheless-god, was I pissed), I barely have time to change out of my disgusting clothes before I have to run to Staples and find out how much it is to buy a pack of 10 tab dividers, 5 tab dividers, a new binder, and a pack of pencils. Then I have to rush right back out to go and get my youngest brother from school (the other one had soccer practice) and then walking ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE EAST HALF OF TOWN to get to my students house where, surprise surprise, he was not. Misunderstandings, miscommunications, a few people got a little forgetful an hour here, two hours there, and BOOM! I lose three, perfectly good, homework hours running around town, annoying little brother in tow. Sigh. And on top of all of that, I'm still not done with my Biology Objectives due tomorrow at midnight, and our teams One Page Magazine project still hadn't been finalized, much less uploaded, and that was due TONIGHT!! Today has been a whirlwind of work, with me running around like a headless chicken trying to finish everything. Literally running around. My god. 

And yet, in the end, everything turned out alright anyway, which made it feel like all that worry and heartache was for NOTHING! Life is cruel! I feel so used. Well, we submitted the One Pg Mag, I got a high A on the last Software Apps Project, and finished everything else with enough time to blog about it. Praise me. Thank you.

Now I really should be tired. I should be exhausted to the bone. I should feel like collapsing on my bed and blacking out immediately from all the work I've done today.

Instead I feel completely exhilarated. If I could fly I think I'd climb to the top of the tallest building in the area (Empire State Building), and take off, letting the high up winds push me along as I wallowed in the glory of completion and accomplishment. Oh the joy one gets from finishing homework. 

Alright. I'm gonna go to bed now. Good night peeps. Can't wait for school tomorrow!!....maybe. 

Thursday, September 19, 2013

久しぶり!! (Hisashiburi!!)

The only reason that title is any funny is because I'm not Japanese. I'm Chinese. And Indian. Maybe it's just me. But I like Japanese. But I'm taking french.

Anyway, it's been ages since I've posted on here. So the second week of high school is ending and High Tech turned out to be pretty (really awesome and) great. It's not as intimidating as I made it out to be in my head, and there's still a lot I don't know, but I'm getting there. Maybe. I've made loads of new friends, but am still close with the old, and am not exactly close with any one person at the moment.

I don't think I've mentioned it but sometime in July I started working at a chinese restaurant! All I do is answer the phone and do take out, but it's a job nonetheless. I've gotten a tutoring job for a third grader, and have been taking the bus to school for the first time in nine years.

So far my favorite class at High Tech is definitely Software Apps, but english is fun too. Actually it's really fun, but software apps is new and new things always seem to be more exciting at first, until they get old. You know what? Forget it. I'm just making this more and more confusing.

There is so much more I want to say and I would keep going but my hands are getting tired and I really need to go work on my homework. Sigh. それ じゃ! また ね! (Sore ja! Mata ne!)